Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Who Can Satisfy My Soul?

Do you ever go through seasons of life where adversity seems to be around every corner?  I just went through several months where it seemed that no matter what I did, I ran into obstacles of different kinds.  Most of them were uninvited into my life and surprised me when they showed up.  I'm not sure if this is something that happens around my age or not (I'll be turning 40 later this year), but I can say that these unwelcome trials threw me for a loop.

I've encountered many losses over the last year.  I'm still scratching my head at some of the losses wondering how and why these things happened.  I'm still at a loss for words on how my feelings were affected by these unpleasant encounters and events.  For several weeks, well, several months in some cases, I found myself wondering around like a lost puppy dog not sure how to react or what to do or where to go or even who to talk to.  In some of these cases I felt insignificant...and I wondered if I ever was significant to begin with.

It's amazing how when I go through trials, the Enemy (the devil), likes to throw in a few of his lies as well. The Bible says that he's the father of lies and that his only mission on this earth is to still, kill and destroy.  I admit that I let him in a few times.  I let him tell me that I wasn't important enough, good enough, worthy enough, young enough, pretty enough, healthy enough, wealthy enough, smart enough, funny enough.......and you know what???...He was right!!!  I am NOTHING without Christ!!!  I also know that I don't have to be anything to anyone else because I'm already significant in God's eyes.

I may have encountered some losses, but in the end I believe that the Lord will use it for my good and His good.  Even though I still miss the things I've lost, He's the only One that can truly satisfy my soul.  He's more than enough for me!  Just like the disciples, all I need to do is follow Him!  He'll take care of the rest!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Last "First"

Today was a very special day in our house.   For the past several days we've been anticipating this very night.  Her tooth had been wiggly for almost 2 weeks, but this morning when she woke up it was only dangling by a thread.  I touched the tooth to see how loose it was and without any help from me it fell into my hand.  Emalee squealed with delight because this would be the night that the Tooth Fairy would finally visit!  
In an attempt to get Emalee to clean the toys off of her bedroom floor I said, "Emalee, before you go to bed tonight you need to pick the toys up off your floor and put them away so that the Tooth Fairy doesn't trip on them."  Without hesitation my bright little five year old stated very matter-of-factly, "No I don't need too.  She has wings.  She'll fly over them!"  I couldn't argue with that!  However, she still cleaned her room for tonight's guest of honor!  
I suppose that I've become a bit nostalgic the last few weeks.  You see, my baby is starting Kindergarten, my middle child is in middle school and my oldest has been driving for almost a year already.  Time keeps ticking by and somehow my babies are growing up!  When I first became a mother almost 17 years ago I had a hard time imagining the future, but somehow the future is this present day.  Tonight will be the last "first" visit that the Tooth Fairy makes to our home.  It kind of makes me sad.  
As I reminisced today, I recalled a poem that one of my friends shared with me last year.  I thought I'd share it on the blog today.  
We said our night time prayers and now Emalee is tucked in bed with her special Tooth Fairy pillow that her grandma made for her.  The tooth is tucked inside the pocket and the Tooth Fairy is just waiting for one excited little girl to drift off to sleep so she can exchange the tooth for some money.  Tomorrow will be a new day for new memories to be made.

"Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts.
First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst. 
But one day you will move away and leave to me your past,
And I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts.

The last time that I held a bottle to your baby lips...
Last time that I lifted you and held you on my hip...
Last time when you had a binky stuck inside your mouth...
The last time that you crawled across the floor of this old house. 

Last time when you ran to me, still small enough to hold,
Last time when you said you'd marry me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and bright flashes from the past,
Would I have held you longer if I'd known they were the last? 

Your last few hours of kindergarten, last days of first grade...
Last at bat in Little League, last colored paper made.. 
Last time that I tucked you in for one last midday nap...
Last time when you wore your beat-up Green Bay Packers cap. 

Last time you caught a frog in that old backyard pond...
Last time when you ran barefoot across our fresh-cut lawn,
Silly scattered images to represent your past. 
Would I have taken pictures...if I'd known they were the last? 

The last dark night you slipped in bed and slept between us two,
When last I read to you of God or Horton Hears a Who!
Last time that I smelled your hair and prayed after your shower...
Last time that we held devotions in the evening hours. 

The last time you were M.J. in our games of give-and-go...
Last time that you made an angel in the melting snow.
I never even said good-bye to yesterdays long passed. 
Would I have marked the moments...if I'd known they were the last? 

Last piano lesson, and last soccer goal you kicked...
The last few weeks of middle school, last flowers that you picked.
Last time that you needed me for rides from here to there...
The last time that you spent the night with that old tattered bear.

Last time that I helped you with a math or spelling test,
Last time when I shouted your room was a mess. 
Time and life moved quicker, taking pieces of your past.
Would I have stretched the moments...if I'd known they were the last? 

The last time that you needed help with details of a dance...
Last time that you asked me for advice about romance. 
Last time that you talked to me about your hopes and dreams.
Last time that you wore a jersey for your high school team. 

I watched you grow and never noticed seasons as they passed.
I wish I could've frozen time, to hold on to your lasts.
For come tomorrow morning life will never be the same. 
You'll pledge forever to your girl, and she will take your name.

And I will watch you, knowing God has blessed you with this day.
I never would have wanted, Luke, to somehow make you stay. 
They say a son's a son until he takes for him a wife.
You're grown-up now;  it's time to go and start your brand new life. 

One last hug, one last good-bye, one quick and hurried kiss...
One last time to understand just how much you'll be missed. 
I'll watch you leave and think how quickly childhood sped past.
Would I have held on longer....if I'd known it was your last?" 

Poem was quoted from the book, "Rejoice", by Karen Kingsbury.  Pages 209-210.